||[Nov. 2nd, 2004|03:04 pm]
I don't know why I even have a journal. Is it pointless? I don't know. My life has been crazy these last couple of weeks. A lot of people at my school hate me or dislike me. Who can blame them. Im awful. I hurt my boyfriend who I love and I feel like he will never get over it and put it in the past and just forgive me. I know its hard on him, but just think how hard it is on me. I like this journal because only a couple of people know this journal so I won't have people reading this crap. I sound like im a depressed little kid. And all I do is complain but that isn't true. I hold in how I feel all day till I get on the computer and I spill everything onto my journal. But on blurty I can't say some things because people read it and will think stuff about me and so on and so forth. And yesterday my mom made me break down and cry. So I called Tiffany, who has always been there for me, I cried, she cried, we all cried together on the phone. She told me im the type of girl who will always have a smile on her face no matter what happens, I always cheer people up, she always told me that if Jessica(the girl who hates me) isn't over everything by now that she needs to get a grip on life and that Chris must of not cared for her that much if he broke up with her instead of staying with her. And thats its not my fault. She told me she knew what I was going through and that im only 15 and that my feelings will change. But I told her my feelings haven't changed with Josh. She was like yes I know I can tell you love him Chelsey. And then she had to go. But it helped a bit.